A basic example could be someone who works excessively (protective manager) in order to keep at bay feelings of inferiority which arose due to shaming within the family or school context (exiled part which is largely cut off from adult consciousness). An appraisal at work might threaten the equilibrium and a more extreme part (firefighter) might emerge whose role is to distract / numb the person using alcohol or food, or maybe the person has a panic attack and cannot go into work that day.

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As well as the more traditional IFS trio of protectors, firefighters and exiles, I also invite you to engage with other “inner community” members.  For example, the roles you might take on in your family, profession or other setting.  We also “internalise” significant people, who become part of us – some who continue to nurture us and others who continue to harm us. Plus we have everyday parts like the ones whose job it is to get up and out of the house, schedule our diaries, establish boundaries.

 

For clarity here, I also want to note that true inherent identity is not "parts". This includes neurodivergence (autism, ADHD etc), gender and/or sexual identity. Identity is separate to the parts which form or are intensified in relation to how others perceive us, welcome and accept us or otherwise.

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Why choose IFS?

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For everyone there are some parts who / that are more “stuck”, carry more pain or seem to get us into more trouble. There may be ones who we might describe as being “out of control” or “triggered” by an apparently minor situation. Or perhaps there are some who behave in ways which we feel ashamed of. Some can literally shut us down, others can think “crazy” things (according to other parts!) And some can become terribly hurt and distressed yet never find relief. These may or may not be the ones who “bring” us to therapy and there may be other parts who need attention first before they will open space. This is all as it needs to be and is a vital part of the process.

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What are IFS sessions like?

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Firstly, everyone is unique and parts show up in such different ways for different people.  In traditional IFS training I was taught to invite people to “go inside” and sense a part “in or around their body”. I have worked with some people who sense their parts this way, and some of mine have shown up that way, however many others I have worked with have visualised their parts or just had a sense of what they might "say" or think. Many parts simply show up as a strong feeling or emotion, a thought or a belief.  Sometimes the way we sense a part seems to correlate with its “age”. When I use parts work myself I tend towards "externalisation", and this also has been the case for many people I see in my practice.  There are many resources to support this, for example drawing, sandtray or other creative processes.  Creative work is also possible online.